I'm probably the last one to figure this out, but...
During the CYBI Bam Bière show Jamil made a great point about using percentages when scaling / talking about recipes. This is hands down the best way to share and evaluate recipes, in my opinion. It's kind of frustrating, however, that the recipe calculators I've used don't let the user edit the percentages directly. But there's an easy work around to this in ProMash. (And other software, I'd hope.)
-Turn off "Lock Ingredients to Batch size".
-Enter the recipe 'by percent' in lbs or kg, aiming for a total grain bill weight of 10 lbs or kg. I.e. 80% pale ale malt would be 8 lbs/kg, 5% caramel 40 would be 0.5 lbs/kg, and so on.
-Change the "Batch Size" until the desired SG is achieved.
-Turn on "Lock Ingredients to Batch size".
-Change the "Batch Size" until the desired post-boil volume is reached.
-Malt weights are now scaled correctly to your system based on the original percentages.
Easy.
Hopefully that helps someone.