Thanks for the replies and welcomes guys. Reazlied I didnt put my OG but had to wait for approval before the topic appeared. it was 1.102 (my efficiency isnt too great with batch sparging). does this mean i likely have more to go? if so what should i do (need to use the same yeast? what sized starter? a more alcohol tolerant yeast?) if i'm going to pitch more do i need to get it into a secondary (it's been in primary since 1/25; a little long i know)? if you dont think another pitch would help, would sweetness mellow with age too or will it likely always be way too far on the sweet side?
and it was a little unclear after rereading my post that i did do a starter but was unable to step it up to a gallon, only did a 2000ml for a day so i figure it at most doubled to two vials, not the recommended 4. there was no different lag than normal, and when i came home to it after work the next day i was thankful the bugger hadnt exploded, the lid of the bucket was bowed like i couldnt even imagine (i only used an airlock not a blowoff tube which i switched to that night).
my room downstairs (where i started it) and my closet upstairs (where it is now) hold a steady air temp of 68 and 70 respectively. i realized it's not air temp to be ideal, but it's all i can do for the time being. it doesnt taste highly alcoholic, just really really sweet, the kind that coats your teeth and gets sticky on anything it touches (cue bevis & butthead). Otherwise the taste is along the lines of what i was going for, can taste the hops a little through the sweetness and there is a bit of the english yeast flavors but i'm fine with that, and not too much of them. The sweetness definitely overwhelms anything else that might be detectable (frutiness, etc).
yes, i dump everything from the kettle into the primary, i just cant get past throwing 3 oz of hops in at flameout and then racking the beer off of it right away. there's got to be some goodness in the trub? can you explain why my reasoning is wrong/what badness is in there? maybe i can switch to leaving the trub behind now that i'm maturing as a brewer.

i didnt listen to Jamil's barleywine show, stupid of me since i listen to all the other recent BN shows all day at work, maybe i'll listen today during work to figure out what i did wrong.
thanks again guys.