JOKES

[Thirsty Mallard]

How about some one liners...

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders!

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
Liquor cabinet!

What do you call two gay guys in a sleeping bag?
Fruit roll up!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan-on-Juan


And here is a good one for Michigan fans (I heard it on the radio today):

Why is the field at Ohio State's stadium artificial turf?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime!

[Triple Freak]

Two guys are sitting in a country club.
Guy A asks B what he's getting his wife for their anniversary.
Guy B says "I'm getting her a new Mercedes & a diamond watch."
Guy A says "Why the two gifts?"
Guy B says "In case she doesn't like the watch, she can drive it back in her new Mercedes."
Guy A says "I got my wife a pair of flip flops & a dildo."
Guy B asks "Why those two gifts?"
Guy A says "In case she doesn't like the flip flops, she can go fuck herself."

[Lars]

Ok, a few more blonde jokes...

What do you call 7 blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?

Toes Go In First

[Thirsty Mallard]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.

[Bugeater]

Ever wonder what artificial intelligence is?

It's a blonde dyeing her hair brunette.


Wayne
Bugeater Brewing Company

[Thirsty Mallard]

A buddy of mine told me a few more male chauvinist jokes...

Why don't women wear watches?
There's a clock on the stove.

What is the difference between a woman and a battery?
A battery has a positive side.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.

How do you know if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but your dinner is missing.

[Crut]

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?

...Damn.

cheazy I know, ut im a sucker for cheazy and pun jokes!

[Thirsty Mallard]

A blind guy with a seeing eye dog walks into a bar. He then picks up the dog and swings him around in circles in the air on his leash. The bartender says, "What are you doing?!" The blind guy replies, "Just having a look around."


A dyslexic walks into a bra...


A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey, you know we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says, "Really? You have a drink named Steve?"


Two astronauts walk into a bar on the moon. One turns to the other and says, "The decor is nice, but the atmosphere sucks."